Left Behind
by bardsgrl4evr
Summary: He's left her behind too many times and now he's back and she's got some pent up emotion that need to be released. Gee I wonder who it could possibly be.
1. Leaving behind and coming back

Logan, coming back? What a joke. Someone tell him we've got a new red head at the Institute? That would definitely give him reason to show his face and stay for a few days. I doubt the fact she's only thirteen would stop him from trying to get into her bed, with her still in it, of course. And to think I actually fell for him. Of course I did fall for Scott too. You can't get a more opposite pair.

Ororo told me Logan was coming back. Just thinking about it caused to me to fall to the groundin hysteria. Thinking I was ill, the weather witch, with her caring, loving heart, proceeded to escort me to the Medical Wing. It finally dawned on her once we arrived at the waiting room doors, that there would be no doctor inside to check me out. To see the look on Ms totally-calm-all-the-time Munroe was absolutely priceless.

Ashadow engulf my being, giving Ororo the sense to leave me "alone with my thoughts", or rather she would have an excuse to high tail it out of there.Before she left she gave me, (rather us) the first wise piece of advice I have ever heard her say, "At least go talk in the Danger Room. I would hate to have to clean up the MedLab again."

"Sure Ms. Munroe, whatever ya say."

Walking silently to the DR, never once did he speak, that's not his style, he prefers to talk with his claws, not his mouth, but he'll have to realize that everyone's not like him. Some of us have to talk verbally or risk going mentally insane.

The moment the DR doors shut behind us, the yelling started. Mainly it was me, actually it was me the entire time.

For four, excuse me, six goddamn years I've had to wait to make him realize all the shit he put me through by bringing me here, and leaving me behind when he left. The first time he came back I thought he was back for good, especially considering the fact the X-Men helped him with his little problem involving a wannabe Logan (I think her name was Yuriko) and totally anal psycho who turned his son (Jason) into a movable mind controller all because his son was a mutant and his wife killed herself.

Apparently I was wrong. As if that wasn't enough, I know about the tent incident (you know, where Mystique paid Logan a visit late one-night. No one knows about it, except John (Pyro) and myself. I haven't told Bobby or any of the other students because they don't know him as well as I do. They would accuse him of siding with the enemy. But I know Logan wouldn't join up with Magneto, at least he won't after the Liberty incident. I haven't told any of the teachers, especially Summers or Xavier, because for one, it's none of their fucking business. For two, Xavier would probably use that to exploit Mystique into giving information concerning the famous Magneto. I know for a fact that Mystique posed as me and it appeared as if Logan like that one the best (or it could be my ever growing ego making shit up again). That's been happening a lot lately especially after absorbing John.

Six years I've been forced to pent up my emotions, my fury, my hate, my desire. For six years I've had to wear a mask over my face and over my mind (on more than one occasion, I've caught the psychic's of the Institute sneaking a peak. Well now he's back, and I've got plenty to say, and this time he's not going to be the one who leaves, he's going to be the one who is left behind.

After all these years I've dreamed of this moment. I've imagined each vivid detail, every painstaking emotion flashing across his face as I bring up the past over and over again, showing him that by leaving me, he took my only true friend as well as my soul and purpose to live.

The only reason I had to live after he left was so I could give him realization that the only emotions I've ever felt for six gaddamn long years has been pain and loss. Even when I was with Bobby, I felt nothing other than agony of the fact that Logan had never and would never care for me like Bobby believes he does.

John caught on to my despair in record breaking time. We talked, we laughed, and we cry. Yes I admit it the Master of Flames and the Queen of Darkness actually shred a few salt water drops. We told of our lives before the mutant plague struck us and we told of how we were roped into Xavier's crazy notion of a peace coexistence between mutants and humans.

Thinking about all those talks we had it doesn't surprise me that John let us for Erik. John and I spent hours on end talking about how Xavier's crazy plan would never work and that in order for mutants not to live in fear, we as the first-born of the coming mutant race must pave a road of respect and power, making the humans realize that we are indeed the future and that any resistance on their part would be futile.


	2. Answer the many questions

Left Behind

Ch2 Answer The Many Questions

But I'm not going to think about John or what might have been (between us). Logan is here now and he won't be for long so I have to tell him how it is before he runs off again. Before he leaves me again.

"Logan, how could you?" I screamed at him and threw a punch which dodged. I was determined he listen to me and this is the only way he does that, with fists. This how we talked about everything whenever Xavier had me or Logan's motorcycle on lock down. We'd come to the Danger Room and as we fought I'd explain my situation and he would help me sort it out.

But he can't help me anymore. I don't need his help anymore. And I certainly don't want it. I want him to hurt, to feel the pain and the pity I've been force fed for far too long.

"How could you leave me here, to face them? What in the world gave you the notion I'd be better off here with all these 'gifted people'? Logan, why did you leave me?? I pounded my fists as hard as I possibly could on his chest. He had stopped dodging my attacks and just stood there like a frickin statue. His emotionless face just fueled my anger and I pounded all the harder. I knew I wasn't physically hurting him, damn healing factor, but I was crushing his spirit. And that was good enough for me.

I was by now screaming obsenities at, which echoed all around us in the otherwise empty training room. I wanted him to say something, yell at me even, or at least grab my wrists to cease my relentless pounding. I stopped my ranting, raving, and beating when I noticed for the first time how the blood covered my hands like gloves. But thinking about cleaning them and bandaging them led my thoughts to Jean and how it could have been prevented, her dying.

I shook my blood covered hands at him, specs landing on his stone cold face. "They blame us, you know, me most of all. They blame me for her death. Scott won't look me in the eyes anymore. Kitty, and the other kids pretend I don't even exist!

"Logan, I could have prevented it, all of it! The infiltration of the mansion, Jean's death, Jubilee's transfer, and even your leaving." My energy was drained out me almost immediately and as I slid to the floor, Logan woke up from his frozen state and grabbed me quickly, easing me into a sitting position. There we sat in silence for the longest time it seemed. I didn't care though. My voice was scratchy from all the yelling, but I didn't care about that either. I still despised him but now he knows why.

We sat like lovers watching the stars, only we were watching the control center above us. His arms were wrapped around me protectively. Judging from the multiple pairs of eyes closely following our every move, it's safe to say we were being watched. I turned to him, raising my eyebrow in question. The ball was in his court and it's up to him as to how he chooses to deal with it.

"I can't say I'll stay here because I can't lie to you, kid. But I can tell you, I'm only a call away,." He offered me none of the pity I had detested so. He ran his fingers through my hair tenderly and offered instead something no one has given me before; a promise that no matter what happened he would always come back to me, for me. He nothing more to offer but that didn't matter. Now that he knew my heart, I wanted nothing more than to sit here in silence, lying in the arms of friends, my foe, my past, my future, my teacher, my family. My lover.


End file.
